From the Modern Humorist: Ask

From the Modern Humorist: Ask Jeez.

I have no idea why

I have no idea why a "friend" sent this to me:

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry...what did you ask me?

Either pb's been eavesdropping on

Either pb's been eavesdropping on us or we're a cliche'. Check out the what-do-you-want-for-dinner i-don't-know-what-do-you-want? dialog generator.

There's just no good excuse

There's just no good excuse for a web site to completely rip off the design from another site.

A post in honor of

A post in honor of this weekend's Jumping Frog Contest:
Yesterday, I was in a wine shop, and came across a wine from Frog's Leap Winery that I hadn't seen before: Leapfrögmilch. The bottle description said

Das Leapfrögmilch ist nicht a green nun but ist a krazywein idea from der weinkeller Frog's Leap. Die kombination of der sublime und der ridiculous ist ein longstanding tradition ät der winery. In this käse, a delicious blend of der Chenin blanc und der Riesling from two ancient vineyards long forgotten in der hubbubin of der modem wein world.

Spider Robinson writes about the

Spider Robinson writes about the E-beast on the rampage.

Tom's nephew is getting married

Tom's nephew is getting married in July. We're considering this as a possible wedding present.

Ghost in the Machine linked

Ghost in the Machine linked to this article about Dave Sim and Cerebus. I've been reading Cerebus since 1980, and I'm not looking forward to the end.

If you're here due to

If you're here due to a link from The Connection, welcome!

In Green Tea, Hawaiian Slides

In Green Tea, Hawaiian Slides and Sanity, Lynn describes finding her Self again. It was fun reading this just two hours after I'd gotten my hair dyed red (it's more auburn this time than flaming, for the record).

Salon covers an NYU report

Salon covers an NYU report that so-called issues ads are really used to target candidates. Shocking, huh?

There's Nothing 'Inevitable' About Online

There's Nothing 'Inevitable' About Online Anarchy is an effective rebuttal to the people who think that Napster, Gnutella, and the like are unstoppable juggernauts that artists will simply have to live with. To my mind, these people are saying to artists, "You can't stop me from raping you whenever I want, so just learn to deal with it." That's not acceptable to me as an writer; if I can't be paid for what I create, I'll find something else to do.

"Information Wants to be Free" is a meaningless sophistry.

If you couldn't afford the

If you couldn't afford the Missile Silo Home that we mentioned last month, you might want to check out this Subterranean Fortress instead. Considerably less expensive, but just as likely to make it through that nuclear blast.

I just want to recommend

I just want to recommend the weblog View From the Heart. Opinions, etc., from Al Hawkins, RN. He's a critical care cardiology nurse, a group that I have great respect and admiration for ever since Tom had his little episode a few years back.

And besides all that, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one whose favorite Heinlein story is The Man Who Traveled In Elephants.

A taxonomy of Flame Warriors.

A taxonomy of Flame Warriors. I think that I've run into all of these folks at one time or another.

And for that all-important honeymoon

And for that all-important honeymoon trip, how's about we all pitch in and buy Newt a one-way ticket to Hell? Yes, I know that many people feel that he bought his own fare long ago, but it doesn't hurt to be sure.

If, like us, you just

If, like us, you just aren't going to be able to make it to Callista and Newt's wedding, isn't it nice to know that you can purchase a gift from their registry online? And I'm sure that none of you reading this would want to do any of that nasty hacking or cracking to their requests, would you? (Via Memepool)

Here's my story for Macworld

Here's my story for Macworld Online about Alpaca, the code name for Microsoft's New PIM that will be a part of Office 2001 for the Mac.

Apple wouldn't let press hang

Apple wouldn't let press hang around WWDC after the keynote, 'cause everything happening from then on is under NDA. Consequently, you can't find out anything about what's going on there on the web.

She's been working the White

She's been working the White House for UPI since 1961, but she quit the day after UPI was bought by the Moonies. These days, it's an all-too-rare example of journalistic integrity. Correspondent Helen Thomas, a Washington Fixture, Resigns

As promised, here's the WWDC

As promised, here's the WWDC piece I did yesterday: Apple slashes WebObjects fee. The online coverage that surprised me is that Stephen Beale (Macweek.com editor) posted this picture of me & my two fellow reporters. More MacWeek.com WWDC coverage can be found here.

Eric Conveys An Emotion.

Eric Conveys An Emotion.