Multiple award winners:

• Memoirs of a Geisha: 3
• King Kong: 3
• Brokeback Mountain: 3
• Crash: 3

And we end at 8:29 PST, which is just about what I expected. Good job all around, although I still believe that Andy is wrong about the cravats. Many thanks to all who made it into the chat room — you folks were great. See you again next year.

Jack Nicholson, who, I believe, is required by law to give out at least one award, gives the one everyone’s been waiting for. And the Oscar goes to: Crash.

Tom Hanks out to give the award for best director. Did he get a haircut while he was off-stage? I think that this one’s a toss-up, except it won’t be Clooney. Winner: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain.

Uma, looking good except for the raccoon eyes. I just don’t understand that whole look. She’s giving the award for best original screenplay. The winner: Crash.

Dustin Hoffman, announcing best adapted screenplay. Why is he looking so depressed? Because he just got played by Kevin Costner? The award goes to Brokeback Mountain. Larry McMurtry looks good from the waist up, but I can’t believe that he’s wearing jeans. Wow, a plug for bookstores!

Jamie Foxx comes out to give the best actress award. He’s wearing a tie AND a bright blue shirt. C’mon, folks, learn how to dress. The winner is: Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line. No surprise there.

John Travolta gives the award for best cinematography, wearing a weird gold tie. I don’t get it. The Oscar goes to Memoirs of a Geisha.

Charles Pavlack, hanging out all evening in the chat, asks me to plug PavCo_Reviews, his Yahoo! group: “devoted to media reviews (Movies, TV, and maybe the occasional book or comic book) written by Charles Pavlack, midwestern husband, father, and self-proclaimed media geek.” No problem.

Overall note: no huge sweeping winners this year; they seem to be spread out all over the place. Also, we’re running behind, but not horribly so. It’s not going to be one of those, “oh, those poor east coast folks who are still up after midnight.” I suspect we’ll be done well before 8:30 pm.

Hilary Swank, looking good, comes out to give the award for best actor. The winner is: Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote, who thanks his mom — big round of applause.

Ziyi Zhang gives the best editing Oscar to Crash.

Will Smith, out to give the award for best foreign language film. Winner: Tsotsi.

George Clooney is one of the few guys who acts, imo, like a real movie star. He comes out to introduce the “died in ’05″ montage.

Another ad, this time for best sound editing. I love Colbert. Award is given by Jennifer Garner, who nearly falls on her face walking on stage. I guess maybe she’s not used to being thin again? The winner is: King Kong.

Queen Latifah, looking amazing as always. She’s giving the award for best original song, and the winner is “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” (from Hustle and Flow). Color me surprised that the academy voters would go for it.

Chris “Ludacris” Bridges comes out to introduce “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” (from Hustle and Flow). Funny, I’ve never heard his actual name before. Okay, I pick “Travelin’ Thru” as my choice for the winner, because it was the only one that didn’t include a dance number.

Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin do a bit that’s supposed to be a tribute to Robert Altman but actually explains why actors so depend on good scriptwriters. Altman clips are shown, and he gets an honorary Oscar. Tom and I are surprised to find out that we’re two of the few who’ve actually seen Brewster McCloud.

Jon makes fun of “Oscar’s salute to montages.” Jessica Alba and Eric Bana come out. She’s a brunette again, thankfully, and that by itself makes her look 1000 times better. Her dress? I’m mixed. I can’t really decide. Tom says it’s horrible and it should be taken off immediately. They give the award for Best Sound Mixing to King Kong.

Jake Gyllenhall comes out to talk more about how people should see films in the theater. “There’s no place to see it like the big screen.” Yeah, right. Like my local 16-plex has big screens. Clips from epics are shown.

Salma Hayek comes out to remind people that not everyone from Hollywood is trying to turn men gay. Great dress, not that she could look bad if she wanted to. Itzhak Perlman plays excerpts from the nominees for best original score. And the winner is: Brokeback Mountain.

“The president of the academy” — how do you get to be president of the academy, anyway? It’s not like it’s ever actors you’ve ever heard of. Tom says, “What the hell is this guy talking about?” My response, “He’s telling people to go see movies in the theaters. ‘Cause, you know, why not pay $$$$ to hear other people talk versus seeing it home on my own couch?”

Samuel L. Jackson, who should also be wearing a tux, but I ain’t going to tell him. He introduces a homage to Important Movies About Injustice.

Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock give the award for Best Art Direction. Sandra has a good dress, but her hair is so badly done that I barely look at the dress. The winner: Memoirs of a Geisha.

Answers to previous questions: Tom Hanks has long hair for The DaVinci Code (although I thought it was done filming?) and Morgan Freeman narrated March of the Penguins.

JLo introduces the nominee for best song from Crash, “In The Deep”. The singer/songwriter is Kathleen Bird York, who turns out to be Toby’s Congresswoman wife from The West Wing. It’s all going fine until the interpretive dance starts, which I think should be made illegal.

Charlize Theron giving the best documentary award. The winner: March of the Penguins. No surprise there, given the amount of money it made. Her dress? Well, it made for some great humor in the chat: “When bad shoulder bows happen to good people,” “Aieee! What’s on my shoulder?,” “Hump? What hump?,” and so on.

Terrence Howard giving the award for best documentary short. The winner is A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin.

Stephen Colbert doing ads talking about best actress. Too bad he’s not actually there, but the ads themselves crack me up.

Lauren Bacall! Okay, she can wear pants to the Oscars. No other women can, though. In the chat group we’re wondering what’s up with her. Does she just need glasses, or is there something else wrong? When she passes, it’ll be the end of an era. She’s introducing a homage to film noir. Tom reminded me that she’s 82. Wow, she sure doesn’t look it.

Why is Morgan Freeman the “penguin’s best friend?” Morgan, you could dress up, really, it wouldn’t hurt you. Time for the best supporting actress award. And the award goes to: Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener — not one I expected.

The SciTech awards get their annual 30 seconds. Sigh.

Will Farrell and Steve Carrell give the award for best makeup. Damn, Carrell looks a lot like Harold Lloyd. Winner: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

Russell Crowe, lookin’ good. It’s a homage to biographies.

Jennifer Aniston. Good dress, but not great. She looks really good, but not glamorous. She’s giving the award for best costume design. The winner: Memoirs of a Geisha. No surprise there.

Best animated short given by, well, short animated characters. Winner: The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation.

Luke and Owen Wilson giving the award for best live action short. The winner:
Six Shooter.

Oooh, a Scientology joke! That’s sure to get Jon some legal trouble. And a Baldwin brother joke, too.

Naomi Watts, wearing what looks like expensive rags. Damn, that’s a bad dress for someone that beautiful to wear. She introduces Dolly Parton, singing “Travelin’ Thru” (from Transamerica). Dolly, you couldn’t wear a dress? Tom says, “There’s something weird about Dolly, who has always been an artificial product, doing a song from Transamerica.”

Reese Witherspoon: always classy, always gorgeous, great dress, giving the award for best animated feature. The winner: Wallace and Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Ben Stiller, always skippable. I don’t know why anyone thinks he’s funny. And he’s wearing green long johns: there’s a bad start. He’s giving the best visual effects Oscar looking like a doofus. Well, that’s what he’s good at, so I guess you gotta play to your strengths. Winner: King Kong.

Tom Hanks “demonstrating” how to “give a short Oscar speech.” We’ll see if that works. I wonder what film he’s working on now that has him wearing his hair that long?

Clooney comes out looking like a star and gives a classy speech. And he agrees with me that it means that he’ll be shut out elsewhere. The Batman mentions amused me.

Nicole Kidman comes out to give the best supporting actor award. Tom says she looks better as a redhead. Good dress, but she always looks good. The winner: George Clooney for Syriana. My guess was that he would get it so that they could shut him out elsewhere.

Heh — I love a good subtext look at Westerns. I knew they were going to have to get one bit in about gay Westerns, and that was a good way to do it.

Oooh, good Bjork and Dick Cheney put-down, at the same time. Sweet.

I had a bet with myself about how long we’d go into the show before Jon mentioned Death to Smoochy. I never thought it would be that fast.

Jon, if it’s “Return to Glamor,” you should be wearing a tuxedo. Once again, if it doesn’t have a bowtie, it’s Not A Tux.

I liked the host introduction(s). I was impressed that they got everyone in.

Nice intro. I want to go over it later and see if I can recognize everyone in it.

Damn, this isn’t working quite the way I thought it would. I’ll have to see what I can do as the night goes on.