In the “Jeez, people are stupid” category, I was reminded yet again today how many folks just make you shake your head in amazement.
I had a minor surgical procedure done earlier today. No big deal, but I’ve had a bad reaction (agonizing pain) in the past when it was done in the doctor’s office, so I generally prefer to have them do it under a general anesthetic.
So we happily got a late-morning surgical slot (I hate getting up at 5 AM for any reason).
They brought me right in, I changed clothes, and the nurse in pre-op was asking me the zillion routine questions, when she gets to the trick question: “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”
I roll my eyes and answer “Nothing, because I haven’t eaten anything since midnight, as instructed.” She grins, clicks the mouse and is about to move on when I asked “OK, how often is it that people ate something first?”
She leaned in and murmured, “You wouldn’t believe how often. Then they say things like ‘Nobody told me I couldn’t eat anything.’ ”
“Aw, c’mon. I was told at least four times. Maybe more.”
“Yep. And then we have to cancel their surgery, and they act all upset. And then they come back a few weeks later and do it again. I’ve seen people show up and get their surgery cancelled three times. It’s one reason why we don’t put in your IV until after we ask you these questions.”
A couple of years ago, Dori had an in-office procedure, and the doctor was running really late. The doctor finally came out and said, “I’m so sorry to keep you waiting. The guy before you stopped on the way in and had an Egg McMuffin, and I had to decide if I was going to reschedule him or go ahead. I finally went ahead because I was sure that if I sent him home, I’d never see him again.”
So let me just express, again, my appreciation for nurses and doctors, who do their absolute best in the face of a crowd of patients who are really too damn stupid to live.
We love you, too.